How was Sunday’s Full Moon for you?
Last week, I had written about using the time leading up to the Capricorn Full Moon to pay attention to what you resent. To listen to what your body needs. To give yourself more time and space to breathe, to pause.
And here, in the shadow of the Full Moon, we have the Four of Swords, a tarot card that is traditionally connected to rest. I often see it come up in readings for people who are struggling with burn out, or who are feeling like they are on dead-end paths.
But I see a lot more in this card. With this one (from the Starchild Tarot, if you’re wondering), I see a person who is confined, yet defiant. Behind her are swords, blocking the horizon. But maybe earlier they were blocking her path. Maybe she has moved them out of the way.
Ahead of her are black cats, which bring to mind superstition, jinxes.
Has bad luck crossed this person’s path? Will she dare to walk through it anyway? Perhaps she will befriend the cats. Perhaps she already has.
Perhaps her defiant stare says, “See? I’ve made peace with what others fear. Will you do the same?”
The Moon has started to wane. Today, it moves into rebellious Aquarius, a very different energy from Capricorn. Capricorn wants rules and structures. It wants to know how things should be.
Aquarius wants to go in and change everything as we know it. It challenges the status quo.
And in the shadow of the Full Moon in Capricorn, that is how I feel. I wonder if you do, too. When the Moon wanes, we have further opportunities to release and let go, so if you didn’t set an intention with this weekend’s Full Moon, you still have time.
I talk about defiance because I am still riffing on last week’s thoughts about productivity, about how hard it is for us so many of us of now to unwind and disconnect.
I keep asking myself, “How did I get here?”
And that big, Capricorn pointed to an old path I travelled for many years and said, “Because you walked a road not meant for you.”
It’s true. I did. Time and time again. I held onto jobs and pursued certain careers because I thought I should. Or had to. Or because they looked good on paper. Or because they afforded me a certain lifestyle that I couldn’t break free from once I had it.
But I always knew I was in the wrong place. I knew I would have to let it all go. And when I didn’t, when I clung to it too tightly, it all crumbled from my grasp.
It was never mine to begin with.
And even though I have long moved on, I still struggle with the repression I experienced. And I still see it all the time in people who come to me for readings who talk about the same things I used to:
“I hate being told how to dress.”
“I never feel like my voice is heard.”
“I can’t trust anyone I work with.”
“I am just going through the motions but I can’t do it for much longer.”
I get scared about the environments people create for each other. I feel great concern when I think about how much influence the corporate world has on us, even if you have never worked in an office or had to follow company-mandated rules.
Just this year, Britain banned employers from forcing female employees to wear high heels to work. It took two years of petitioning to get this law in place.
In Canada, Bill C-16 was recently passed, making it illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity or expression. This is just one small corner of the world. There are so many more rights to protect, freedoms to secure.
And yet so many of us continue to feel controlled, boxed in, stifled and cut off from our bodies, our expression, our voices.
When I still worked in an office, I had a colleague who wanted to get her son’s name tattooed on her wrist, but was afraid to. “It might be held against me,” she said, believing it would affect her career.
I am scared when I hear about employers who Google candidates during the hiring process.
I have heard of writers being turned down for day jobs – that they needed – because of stories they had published. If someone thinks it’s too edgy, too arty, too weird…watch out.
Who will that silence, though? Who will hear that and feel afraid to write? To use their voice?
Every time someone imposes a dress code or enforces a demeaning policy, it is an act of oppression.
Every time an employee feels silenced in the face of abusive behaviour because “the customer is always right,” it reinforces the message that dollars are more important than people.
Every time someone makes a decision about what they should or shouldn’t do with their body, their identity, their appearance because they are afraid of what a current or future employer might do…that’s a problem.
Because it holds us all back. It affects the culture we live in. It makes us fearful of our security rather than allowing us to be who and what we need to be.
It isn’t just about having one less tattoo in the world, or one less story to be told. It’s about having more people feel afraid about what they can and can’t do.
And that fear rubs off on our friends, our families, our kids. It seeps into so many facets of our lives.
And it keeps us from growing, from meeting and working with people who might challenge us to move outside of our own experiences.
Nothing is ever the same. There is no one way for all people. History has shown time and time again that it doesn’t work to keep trying to control each other, but so many insist on making it so anyway.
Life doesn’t start with making exceptions. It starts with acceptance.
This week, under the shadow of the Full Moon in Capricorn, be defiant. Remember that Capricorn likes structure and rules, but that this Moon is giving us a chance to break away from that, and now that it’s in Aquarius, it pushes for freedom, for change.
Be like this woman in the Four of Swords and make friends with what someone else fears. Spend time with something that society might have trouble accepting. Embrace a part of yourself that you’ve been taught to hide, to be ashamed of.
Question a belief. Try to find out how it got there, and then let it go.
Put something in its place, something that you want to revel about yourself, something that you want to give more space to.
If it helps, here is a mantra for you to work with throughout the week:
I am not here to hide.
Until next time,
p.s. I’ll be closed from July 14-31, 2017. If you’re looking to book a reading with me soon, I still have a bit of time left this week: lizworth.com/readings