Will they come back?

Tarot Stock PhotoRelationships end for all kinds of reasons.

Whether it’s a friendship that’s drifted apart, or a romantic split, it’s very common for people to wonder whether it’s really over.

“Will my ex come back?” and, “Should I keep waiting for them?” are both questions I frequently hear as a tarot reader.

People turn to tarot when they’re feeling stuck in old memories and feelings, unsure of whether it’s their intuition telling them to hold out hope:

“Is it worth it to reach out to them one more time?”

“Every once in a while I think about them. Is that a sign that we’re meant to be in each other’s lives?”

“I thought I was over my ex but everyone once in a while I run into them somewhere. Now I’m wondering if the universe is trying to throw us back together.”

Can tarot tell you if your ex will come back?

First, it’s important to note that tarot doesn’t let me get into anyone else’s head. I don’t know what someone else is thinking, what they want, or what they feel towards you.

But tarot can show us what the energy is around the relationship itself. For example, if I saw the Death card, I might think things were at a dead end.

Even if a tarot reader interpreted the cards as saying, “Yes, you have a chance,” it’s still just an interpretation, not a fact. Tarot can be wrong.

Only you know what it is you need. If your life has been on hold waiting for someone to re-enter it, you ultimately have to make a decision as to whether it’s in your best interests to continue to focus on a relationship that has already ended.

Be careful that you’re not investing so much hope in a tarot reading that it keeps you from moving forward at all. 

I can’t speak for someone else – especially when they aren’t present to share their own feelings.

A tarot reader can’t promise that an old flame or former friend has any intention of returning.

Be mindful that people can only speak for themselves. A tarot reader can give you an interpretation of the cards, but they can’t make guarantees on someone else’s behalf.

Be respectful of the fact that this person may not want to be in your life, no matter if the cards indicate otherwise.

The signs are already there

If you’re wondering about an old flame or former friend, you might question whether there’s greater meaning to the fact that you still think about them.

Don’t confuse good memories or wandering minds as omens. Maybe you like thinking about an old friend because you had really good times together. Cherish the memory, but accept that the past may not be repeatable. 

Relationships end in all kinds of ways. Sometimes they are very clear cut, such as when people decide to break up.

Other times they leave us wondering. Friendships grow apart and sometimes we lose touch without a word.

Or when we’re dating someone and things seem great – until we get ghosted.

Not every relationship will end with an announcement, or an agreement from both sides. You might want to continue on, while the other person has already checked out.

If you feel like someone has left you hanging without closure, it can sometimes leave a question mark in your heart: “Where did they go, and are they coming back?”

Some people need an obvious answer in order to move on.

Unfortunately, not every relationship will give you that. You can argue that it’s “common courtesy” for the other person to tell you what happened, or that you’re “owed” one last chance, but you can’t force someone back into your life if they don’t want to be there.

They are telling you as much by their absence.

Is the person present or active in your life?

That is often the clearest answer you need.

Every once in a while you might hear of a story about high school sweethearts who drifted once they go graduated, went on to marry other people, divorce, and reconnect with each other years later.

And Netflix’s Back With the Ex can be a hopeful beacon for anyone who still longs to go back to an old relationship.

But stories like these are the exception, not the rule. It’s why they get talked about – because they’re special.

If you have reached out to someone from your past and haven’t received a response, take it at that.

It’s their right to decline the invitation to connect. They don’t need to justify it, and you’re not owed an explanation.

I know it might hurt to accept it, but there’s really nothing you can do at that point.

Silence can be enough to tell you that they are not coming back.

Put attention into the relationships you do have

If someone from your past isn’t making any effort to keep in touch, don’t chase them.

Instead, focus on the people who are here, now.

Sometimes I read for clients who are in committed relationships but still think about their exes and wonder if “that was really the one for me.”

Forget about the tarot. Forget about predictions. 

Focus on the one who loves you, not the one who left.

Focus on the friendships you have now. Spend time with the people who do respond to you when you reach out – those are the ones who are telling you loud and clear, “I like having you in my life.”

Let the people from your past move on. Allow them to focus on their current loves and do it with gratitude in your heart.

Thank them for having been part of your life for a chapter, and then silently wish them well.

And if you feel like you need to put more energy into building relationships, then make that a priority.

Don’t chase the ghosts of the past when there is a whole world out there full of people you have yet to meet.

Until next time,

Liz xo

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