Have you ever wondered if you're in the “right” place in your life?
Recently, I've had a pattern of conversations with clients who are worried they might be choosing the wrong path in life.
They aren't in trouble. Nothing is going wrong.
But they can't help but wonder...is the grass greener somewhere else?
"What if I made a big mistake and was supposed to make different choices somewhere along the way - and now I'm missing out on this other life I could be living?"
I've been there. I think a lot of us have.
Because that’s the world we live in, where expectations and ambition reign. The message so many of live under is that we all need to “be” something by a certain age.
And that makes us only too aware of the passing of time, and takes away our ability to just enjoy our lives.
And of course, this pressure might never actually leave. If you let it control you, it can follow you throughout your life, leaving you always wondering, “Am I there yet?"
“We don’t like being ‘here’. We want to be ‘there’…I wish more of us would ask ourselves, ‘What’s wrong with being where I am?’”
- Melissa Cassera
When people ask me this question of what they should be focusing on, sometimes the answer they get from their tarot reading is not even close to what they're expecting to hear:
Why? Because when happiness is a priority, it shows us a way forward by being a basis for our decisions.
That goes for any of us, at any age.
“Isn’t that bad advice?” Some people might wonder. “Happiness isn’t always practical.”
Which is true. It's not.
But I’m not saying that by focusing on happiness, practicality goes the window.
It's not an either / or choice, though, either.
You will still have to show up and do the work within your life in all of its facets, from relationships to paying the bills to taking care of yourself.
Happiness itself is a responsibility, too.
We are conditioned to place the question, “What’s next?” as a key indicator of whether we’re on track in our lives.
What if the main thing we asked ourselves was, “Is this making me happy?”
Sometimes, happiness can be a scary place to live from because it can quite simple. Personally, I have caught myself feeling quite all right with much less than I thought I wanted, or needed.
And that can bring up all those same questions that we’re told to chase after: “Is this enough? Could there be more? Am I supposed to rest here, or over there?”
Happiness is highly underrated. We are so conditioned to feel like if we aren’t working hard, or keeping our eye on some kind of imaginary prize, then we must be doing something wrong.
And because our society is so future-oriented, all of the questioning we do as a result keeps us out of the moment. It prevents us from enjoying and appreciating where we’re at right here, right now.
Worse, this forward-thinking can become a hard habit to kick, and even when you want to slow yourself down, you find that guilt and doubt settle in, making you question everything all over again: “Am I where I want to be right now?”
So why not just say, “Yes. I want to be here, because I want to be present for all parts of my life – the good, the bad, and the in-between. It’s all mine to experience.”
Nothing ever stays the same. What you’re doing right now and who you are right now is going to be totally different in another 20 years.
Why make yourself choose just one life to live when you can have many new adventures for years to come? Why put an age limit on your experiences? Life doesn’t work like that – life will throw things at you year after year, whether you’re 25 or 65.
The paths we take are rarely linear. Often, they have so many twists and turns that we get lost in our own lives, and decide to throw away our maps and compasses more than once, realizing the directions we’ve written down for ourselves were totally wrong from the start.
And sometimes, when we get so focused on things that haven’t happened for us yet, it’s a lot easier to become unhappy, because we’re putting so much attention on everything that we feel is missing from our lives.
Instead of asking, “What’s next?” Why not ask, “What can I take from where I’m at right now? What can I appreciate about my life as it is right now?”
Time has a way of leading us toward change. Yes, we can accelerate our experiences and push ourselves to new heights along the way, but staying present counts for something, too.
Even the quietest, softest stretches of our lives – the ones that might sometimes seem mundane – can be of great importance, and it can take time to understand what they mean, or why they unfolded this way.
Don’t rush your own story. You never know where your experiences might lead you, or how they will transform you. This is all part of your history – it’s happening right here, right now, all you need to do is focus on where you’re at.
Until next time,