There’s a pervasive belief in the tarot community that you attract the friends, lovers, opportunities and clients you deserve.
The idea behind this is that there is a lesson for you: That everyone sent your way is a teacher. Which is fine if things are going great.
On the surface, it’s a way to make sense of your experiences and use them as learning opportunities for your own spiritual growth.
Beneath the surface, however, is an idea that can easily turn into martyrdom, people-pleasing, leaky boundaries, and toxic relationships.
It can feel like it’s your fault that you’re a magnet for problems. The Law of Attraction is working against you and you’d better start thinking more positive thoughts.
I first started noticing this belief when fellow tarot readers would share struggles they were having with clients. There is a massive issue with entitlement in this industry – people shamelessly shop around for free readings, demand discounts, and expect tarot readers to be available 24/7. But because so many of us are doing tarot on our own, it can become a pretty solitary existence.
So when readers do reach out to talk about confusing or inappropriate client interactions, it really sucks to see peers say things like, “You get the clients that match your energy.”
I have to wonder: Do these tarot readers share similar messages when they read cards? Do they blame victims? Do they shame people who need help making sense of bad situations?
Spiritual beliefs can help us find meaning in our lives, taking the good and bad into account. But we need to use common sense sometimes, too, and remember to share these messages with responsibility.
There is a tendency towards martyrdom that creates tremendous (and unnecessary) amounts of guilt in spiritual work.
Guilt and the habit of taking on everything for everyone is something that I encourage every tarot reader to explore within themselves. Especially if you want to read tarot for other people.
Because it can be so easy to lose yourself in someone else’s bad behaviour, personally or professionally.
And it can be so easy to start to blame yourself if you hit on a string of disrespectful tarot clients, or hit a rough spot in your personal relationships. “Oh, it must be something I’m doing,” some people start to tell themselves. “It’s something I’m attracting and giving off.”
Is it, though? What about the actions of those other people? Are they not responsible for understanding respect, boundaries, and care, too?
One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to embrace since becoming a professional tarot reader is learning that it’s actually helpful to others when you set boundaries.
A lot of us want to read tarot because we want to help others. We want to empower them to make better choices. And we can’t do that if we’re taking responsibility for everyone else’s issues.
The idea that we’re magnets for negative interactions overlooks the reality that some people are just wrong. They do things they shouldn’t. They don’t care about other people’s feelings.
If you read tarot for long enough, you’ll end up reading for a lot of people. And things will not always go perfectly.
You will have clients who are late. You will have clients who forget to show up. You will have clients who ask for discounts or exceptions that you can’t afford.
Is that you, or them?
Is this yours, or mine?
Professionally, a lot of potential issues can be remedied and prevented with solid business policies. Or clear boundaries. While it’s not always easy to enforce the rules, remember that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is hold them accountable. You might actually be helping someone by enforcing a rule or policy – even if it makes you feel uncomfortable to do so.
Of course, even air-tight boundaries can’t protect you 100% from the unexpected, regardless of whether it’s personal or professional. So even here, we want to be careful that we’re not blaming ourselves for not being clear enough when someone crosses the line.
(Trust me, I have been plenty clear with some people and nothing I’ve said got through.)
So if you find yourself running into a pattern of ill-behaved individuals, don’t interpret it as something you’re fated to endure.
The universe is not conspiring against you.
We can’t have perfect days or perfect clients all the time. It’s not something to take personally, and not something to fault yourself for.
Until next time,
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