“How can I do better?”
This question is reverberating around the world right now.
Anti-racist actions and education have become bigger priorities in spiritual communities recently, including the tarot world.
As a result, I have seen a number of Black women make pleas through their social media accounts for people to stop contacting them by private messages to ask, “How can I help? What can I do? How can I be a better ally?”
For those who are not content creators or who are not public-facing in their work, it might come as a shock just how often boundaries get crossed online.
I don’t know what it’s like to get asked about anti-racism education, or how to support Black Lives Matter.
But I do know it’s a huge problem for tarot readers and astrologers to get contacted by people requesting free readings, feedback on their natal charts or tarot spreads, or advice on whether an ex is returning.
So I can only imagine what others deal with on a regular basis – and especially now, as so many people are seeking answers.
What I do know is that it’s a total drain to feel pulled at like this.
Unless someone has an open invitation to request free advice or free feedback, it’s highly inappropriate for people to make these demands.
I know that some might believe, “There’s no harm in asking, so why not try?” Or, “The worst that can happen is they say no.”
But here’s the thing: Sometimes, there is harm in asking. And now is a great time to start learning that.
Why? Because it creates more work for the person on the receiving end of those messages.
Even if they decide not to respond, they still need to sort through those messages and choose what to do with them.
It’s also disrespectful. It says, “Your work, time, and labour are not that valuable to me.”
This practice of pulling at people for more: More information, more support, more advice has to change.
No matter what the context, no matter what the request, or the community it’s happening in, boundaries are getting crossed and resentments are building.
Work of any kind can’t be sustained without a fair exchange. That doesn’t just include money. It includes respect, too.
Here are some ways to do good in the world right now:
Stay well and talk soon.
Until next time,