Why I struggled to connect to tarot early on

I remember how disappointed I was when I got my first tarot deck.

I went in with big expectations. I’d always thought of myself an intuitive, perceptive person. I felt spiritual.

And I wanted that connection to something greater – be it the universe, deity, or my higher self.

I was so excited, and a little bit nervous, when I shuffled my cards and started turning them over. I wondered: What would I learn? What would I see in my reading?

I went from excited to crushed pretty quickly. As soon as my cards were laid out, I felt…nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true: I didn’t get any visions or insights because I had no idea what to make of the cards in front of me.

But I did feel a mix of disappointment, confusion, and insecurity. That insecurity was directed towards myself: What if I’m not the spiritually connected, intuitive person I thought I was?

What if I’m just not cut out for tarot?

I know that sounds dramatic, and it is. I had gone into tarot with such high expectations, and those cards brought me back down to earth – fast. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was caught up in some big misconceptions out there about tarot.

First, I assumed my connection to tarot would be instant, and that I’d somehow know how to read the cards without any previous knowledge, study or practice.

And when things didn’t pan out that way, I thought there was something wrong with me: I wasn’t “gifted” enough, psychic enough, or intuitive enough.

So I turned to the little white book that came with my deck and ended up even more confused.

Why? Because the guidebook listed two or three general meanings for each card.

But I wasn’t sure how these meanings were supposed to relate back to my life.

And I wasn’t sure how to connect my cards to any questions I was asking.

And I felt like I wasn’t actually reading tarot: Instead, I was distracted by looking up meanings all the time, rather than knowing what to pay attention to in the cards themselves.

I wanted to understand how to see patterns in my cards.

And how to put readings into my own words, not someone else’s.

Without more guidance on how to do that, I felt stuck, discouraged, and disappointed. After months of fumbling with my tarot deck, I quietly tucked it away in a drawer. I resigned myself to the idea that tarot just wasn’t for me.

I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way before.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’ve asked yourself the same things: “How can I tap into the symbolism of what I’m seeing in my tarot cards and make sense of it?”

Over the years, I’ve consistently noticed that a lot of aspiring tarot readers face frustration, unsatisfying readings, and stale interpretations as they embrace the learning curves tarot throws at them.

If you’ve been wondering:

  • How do I build more confidence with what I’m seeing in the cards?
  • How can I work towards becoming fluent in tarot so that I can give voice to my interpretations?
  • How do I weave in details like the elements, numbers, and symbols into my readings?

Then I’m excited to invite you to Tarot Foundations this September.

Now in its fifth year, Tarot Foundations is my most in-depth tarot course: It teaches you how to read every card in your tarot deck, work with the elements, and integrate tarot’s numbers in a practical way.

And this season, I’m offering something brand new to the course: 12 weeks of tarot development circles.

In these integration sessions, I will lead you through additional exercises to help you build confidence and rapport with the tarot. We’ll also have time for Q&A, troubleshooting your tarot readings, and live practices.

Our first integration session is Tuesday, September 27. I’d love to see you there.

Join now to secure your spot.

Until next time,



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