“Boundary” is a word that seems to be on everyone’s lips lately.
And with so much confusion, tension, and uncertainty in our world right now, boundaries are becoming more important than ever for our own individual self-care.
But while boundaries can be easy to identify, they are not always easy to enforce. Guilt and insecurity can sabotage your boundaries faster than you can say “no.”
Read on for my tips and practices to help you get clear about boundaries.
First: Everyone needs boundaries.
No matter how open, helpful, or available you want to be.
Boundaries serve an important purpose: They protect your time, energy, and feelings.
Healthy boundaries help you take control of your schedule, prevent drama, and deepen your relationships.
Yes, that’s right: Good boundaries can actually bring you closer to the people you love.
Sometimes we shy away from stating or setting our boundaries because we worry that it might push someone away, hurt...
Ego is something you hear about a lot.
It comes up in spiritual conversations, therapy sessions, tarot readings, and self-help books.
Maybe you’ve talked about your own ego, or felt the weight of someone else’s ego.
We all know at least one person who’s got a larger-than-life ego.
Take my late friend, Nik Beat, who was a poet and performer. Nik used to introduce himself on stage by saying, “The ego has landed.”
But is ego bad, or good?
Something I hear a lot from my clients and students is that they worry about making “ego-based decisions.”
When we dig a little deeper into what they mean, there is usually a lot of guilt under that statement:
Guilt about being selfish, putting yourself first, or prioritizing your happiness.
Is it wrong to follow an ambition? Is it wrong to enjoy your life?
I don’t think so.
To be honest, if I always put my own desires last, then I wouldn’t have done much so far.
A lot of people...
One thing I did not expect to emerge through this global pandemic is the number of conspiracy theories that are out there.
Just as this virus continues to spread, so does the suspicion about it all.
Spiritual communities are rampant with it, including the tarot world. Which surprises me, but then it doesn’t.
Spirituality and conspiracy theories have often shared space together. One of my earliest exposures to this crossover was here in Toronto in the ‘90s.
My friends and I would go downtown on the weekends where we would run into a religious group on Yonge Street. They would stand on the street handing out flyers warning against the coming age of microchipping, which they believed would signal the arrival of the anti-Christ. The chip was “the mark of the Beast.”
But I’m not going to go into a big, long list of various theories out there, old or new. My point in bringing this detail up is to say that I’ve heard a lot of different ideas over...
The end of the year can be one of the busiest seasons for tarot readings.
Everyone wants to know what’s coming up in the year ahead:
"Will this be the year I find love?"
"Will my business be more profitable?"
"Will I move or change jobs?"
Overall, these are pretty common questions that people bring to tarot readers all year round – regardless of the calendar date.
Which is why, a couple of years ago, I started to question my own attachment to doing New Year’s readings for my community.
One thing that I grappled with was that life is not linear. Many of the things we are hoping for don’t just magically fall into place just because we changed the date on the calendar.
And so to expect that a certain date is going to signify something – be it love, success, or any other kind of goal – didn’t feel quite right.
Especially because some of the things we are hoping for in the New Year require some kind of planning or action.
I also realized that New...
I have a lot of goals.
I’ve always been one to make bucket lists, New Year’s lists, to-do lists, constantly keeping an eye on the short and long-term.
So often, I’ve look at other people who see to be moving towards their dreams and would ask, “How do you it all?”
For years I felt like I was living a double-life: I wrote three books in six years, all while working 35 hours a week on top of it.
It definitely wasn’t easy, because of course I didn’t just have work and writing to focus on. I also had to take care of myself with the small things – groceries, laundry, errands – and maintain my relationships, and find some down time here and there.
But I’ve learned a lot about prioritizing, staying focused, and being realistic about my needs vs. my ideals.
These days, there is one thing I do to make sure I keep moving towards my goals on a daily basis: Before I get ready to go to bed, I write down my three most important...
As we get closer to the end of the calendar year, I am conscious of what I’m taking on, wrapping up, or casting away.
Time will pass either way. Calendars change, seasons move on, birthdays come and go. Yes, the marking of time can feel arbitrary in some ways.
Yet it’s hard to deny that there isn’t some kind of energetic shift that takes place when a new year begins.
We make resolutions, and set intentions. We think of what might be possible, and how life might be different.
A change in time feels like a line being drawn in the sand between the past and the future. It’s an opportunity to leave things in the distance, and to move towards new experiences.
As the year winds down, I start to clear things out: Old papers get shredded, books and clothes get put into a donation pile.
And I also become even more conscious of what I’m saying yes and no to. I like things to be finished and closed off at the end of the year so that I have a clear head, and a clear...
“How long will it take to learn tarot?”
I often hear this question from new tarot students, and aspiring readers who want to go from beginner to pro fast.
Truthfully, there is no one answer to this. How long it takes to learn something like tarot depends on a lot of factors, such as:
What your goals are as a tarot reader;
How much time you put into learning; and
Your methods of study and practice.
I spent about 7 years studying, learning and practicing before I launched my tarot business.
To some, that might sound like an awfully long time. To others, it might not sound long at all - I know plenty of people who still consider themselves tarot beginners after studying for longer.
It's not a race and there is no definitive timeline to follow. How long it takes it relative to who you are, how you approach your tarot studies, and how proficient you become in your card reading skills.
I didn’t start out with business as an end goal, and that influenced my path - because I...
Intuition: So many of us say we want to develop it.
We chase after it in books and workshops. We learn tools like tarot in the pursuit to be more intuitive.
We do gut-checks when making major decisions and heed the advice to "follow your intuition."
But what does that mean, exactly? How is intuition supposed to feel?
And most importantly: What is it supposed to do?
Defining intuition can be as elusive as developing it.
Some people use intuition and psychic ability interchangeably – and whereas others don’t subscribe to psychic power at all, yet may still describe themselves as intuitive individuals.
Some people say it’s about having a certain instinct – making the right decisions if not every time, then at least most of the time.
That may take us along the lines of the belief that intuition is about perception – being able to feel out a situation, a person, or a room quickly and accurately. Or sensing that something within a conversation that...
Tarot readings are not promises or guarantees.
Sometimes we come to tarot with the assumption that what we want for ourselves will come our way if the cards say it is so.
Tarot shows what is possible, but you have to meet your life halfway - and sometimes even more than that. You must be willing and able to follow through on the life you want to live.
A reading can help to inspire your potential, but you have to be the one to activate it.
Want to learn what it takes to truly understand tarot as a tool? Join me for my free masterclass here.
Halloween, Scorpio season, Samhain, All Soul’s Day…
No matter what you name this time of year, ancestors become a popular theme about now.
It is believed the veil is at its thinnest these days, and that the spirits around us are close. People build altars to honour the dead. We burn candles for our ancestors, maybe leaving out their photographs or favourite libations in remembrance.
Maybe you already have an ancestral practice for this time of year. Maybe you’ve only heard bits and pieces of these ideas, your curiosity piqued by beautiful altar photos on Instagram or blog posts that offer some quick tips about ancestral work.
I used to follow all of that advice. Each October, when the Sun moved into Scorpio, I would start to set up an ancestor altar. I would adorn it with candles and mementoes, photographs and seasonal offerings.
And then, as we got into mid-November and Halloween had come and gone, I had no idea what to do with that altar.
So I would disassemble...